He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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