last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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