You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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