4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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