the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
