i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
