everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You took a bar mat shot.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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