i think i have two assholes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
