at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
