Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
