I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
