i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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