Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
