So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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