We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
