How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
