): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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