Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
