Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
