you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
