I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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