It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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