I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
