I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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