it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
