he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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