Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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