i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
