I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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