Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
