It's just like the Real World with babies
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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