did you get engaged???
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I looked at my own cervix.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
