She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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