So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
