What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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