Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
