I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize