Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Enjoy the penises
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
