happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You have to summon your inner elephant
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
