i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
