My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize