why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
