Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I love having hate sex.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i now understand why vodka
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
