walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
