you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
