She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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