Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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