this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
