i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
