Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂