no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
