That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
