i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
