hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
