Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
