found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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