I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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