Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize